I'm not competitive, I just don't like to lose.

It has been FIVE years since I competed in a swim meet. Today I raced my ass off. And, guess what, I didn't come in last... I know right?!

As I like to tell Zach, "im not competitive, I just dont like to lose"... Yeaaaa, I REALLY dont like losing or being bad at something. One of the biggest fights I ever got in with Zach was playing Scrabble online when he was deployed...apparently I got TOO into it. Oh well. I play nice with others but when it comes to swimming... I cant stand to get slow times. Well, I got slow times but not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

I'm really fired up to get fast again. I've really missed swimming and racing. Especially open water races- those are super fun! They race in lakes here...gah....im such a water snob..Hawaii has ruined me. BUT I think I can handle the lake races, as long as I have wetsuit (yay for having a husband who works at a scuba shop that sells those!).

Oh, and if you dont think I'm a nut already...when I race, I cuss out my competition in my head...yep. It's what works for me. Then when we get out I always talk to those sweet girls I just raced and we laugh etc. I think I better stop this post as im sounding crazier by the second.

Reef did great in the bleachers with my mother-in-law. I didnt think to bring bottles so it was a lot of nurse-race-cool down-race-nurse-pour gatorade down my throat- race-nurse-race-race-cool down-go home.

I hope you had an epic Saturday. Does anyone else have crazy weird competitive tactics? Please, tell me you do so I dont feel so insane :)

Xo
J

"The Hoochie Factor" (warning: not for lil eyes)

So...I have a problem and I call it "The Hoochie Factor"... a hoochie, in my mind, is basically the equivalent of a hot trashy girl...Now, that being said, every girl that I don't know turns into a hoochie in my mind...seriously...As a joke I started telling my husband "Just say no to hoochies" before he leaves for work but part of me is crazy and really hopes he stays away from girls. THIS NEVER HAPPENED UNTIL I WAS PREGNANT. I've had a lot of errr...not so classy friends and all, but this is a new level of completely-insane-out-of-whack-mental instability...below I have used photos to illustrate just how INSANE I am.

Zach is now Dive Master Candidate so he dives all day on the weekends assisting with classes and what not. Last weekend he was in charge of keeping watch over a group of harmless, super nice moms...

probably what one of the moms looked like                                      what she obviously looked like in my crazy brain

Sitting on the beach is my happy place, especially when Zach dives and I have the energy to go with him and just relax. BUT

This is what the nice girls on the beach look like                                                                 this is how I see them

Zach works with female army medics and nurses- they're all really nice and not at all a "hoochie", unless your me and pregnant..then...

This would be a sweet army medic hard at work with children         THIS is what she clearly looks like in my head

Lastly I walked by some ladies just hangin out at coffee shop...

They were hanging out bothering no one...but as soon as one looked at Zach THIS is what my mind turned them into

YES. I'M CRAZY. I KNOW.
Anyone else have anything ridiculous like this happen while they were preggo?