"The Hoochie Factor" (warning: not for lil eyes)

So...I have a problem and I call it "The Hoochie Factor"... a hoochie, in my mind, is basically the equivalent of a hot trashy girl...Now, that being said, every girl that I don't know turns into a hoochie in my mind...seriously...As a joke I started telling my husband "Just say no to hoochies" before he leaves for work but part of me is crazy and really hopes he stays away from girls. THIS NEVER HAPPENED UNTIL I WAS PREGNANT. I've had a lot of errr...not so classy friends and all, but this is a new level of completely-insane-out-of-whack-mental instability...below I have used photos to illustrate just how INSANE I am.

Zach is now Dive Master Candidate so he dives all day on the weekends assisting with classes and what not. Last weekend he was in charge of keeping watch over a group of harmless, super nice moms...

probably what one of the moms looked like                                      what she obviously looked like in my crazy brain

Sitting on the beach is my happy place, especially when Zach dives and I have the energy to go with him and just relax. BUT

This is what the nice girls on the beach look like                                                                 this is how I see them

Zach works with female army medics and nurses- they're all really nice and not at all a "hoochie", unless your me and pregnant..then...

This would be a sweet army medic hard at work with children         THIS is what she clearly looks like in my head

Lastly I walked by some ladies just hangin out at coffee shop...

They were hanging out bothering no one...but as soon as one looked at Zach THIS is what my mind turned them into

YES. I'M CRAZY. I KNOW.
Anyone else have anything ridiculous like this happen while they were preggo?