Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Family shit (I mean stuff)

I may be posting sporadically. There's all kinds of stuff I'm not ready to blog about going on with all sides of my family right now. Things that make me cry, things that make me sick, and things that make me lose faith.

Just one of those times when all of a sudden every family secret comes crawling out from under the couch.

I'll be back soon with my fun 14 days of love posts. 14 days of lil bits o' love for the husband in February.


Monday, January 30, 2012

Feeling Uncool

Oh I feel completely uncool today...like really REALLY uncool.

What have I been wearing you ask? Puke covered pajamas, I put jeans on once this weekend when I had to go out in public. I would have worn shorts but who has time to shave? Not this mama.

My sister got a rad new tattoo today. She didn't even tell me she was going, I got a picture text message of her arm. Nice. This led me to think...am I so boring and covered in baby goodness that my own sister won't even tell me she's getting a tattoo?! It's not her problem, it's obviously mine. Oh insecurity you're a nasty bitch.

Although I feel lame, I'm pretty sure I have the cutest lil dude sleeping right next to me and my husband loves me even though the dishes are dirty and i chose taking a shower over hanging out in our family room with him... I'd say I'm living a great life.


Ps her tattoo say "these knuckles break before they bleed" which are lyrics from an Emery song. Mmm love them.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Sh*t People from Hawaii Say: THIS IS HILLARIOUS

Happy Aloha Friday: Surfing Vs. Drugs

Honestly....we're really going to drug test surfers? I guess all other sports there's drug testing in the Pro leagues. Not that I'm endorsing drugs or anything, because I'm not and I hope that my son will be a drug-free surfer one day (ahhh to dream) but I think it should be ALL or NOTHING. The way they are testing isn't so random as it should be. It gives them the right to pinpoint whoever they want to pick on. So lame. Just test everyone day of competition and be done with it.
Read more below.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012 1:40pm PST

ASP to force surfers to take drug tests and clean rooms or face grounding

By: Janos Palko

Over the weekend the ASP announced a new "Anti-doping" policy effective for 2012.

I'm warning you, it's a lot of words, big ones. If you are in a nerdy mood and feel like reading them, click here.
Let me bullet point the important facts:

-this new rule applies to ASP staff as well as ASP surfers (Brodie Carr not included)
-the list of prohibited substances include: a long list of steroids, plus: alcohol (really?), amphetamines (ok, understndable), benzodiazepines (wtf is that?!), cannaboids (weed? why?), cocaine (duh), methamphetamines (also duh), and narcotics (aren't these all narcotics?)
-use, possession, and attempted use are all considered the same thing, guilty.
-testing will occur during events only
-testing will be done randomly (yeah right)
-violations will be met with 1 year suspension/disqualification on first offense.

The underlying reason behind this announcement is an attempt by the ASP to legitimize surfing as a sport to the public, and also to provide better role models for the groms, or at least create that illusion.

This makes sense. After some of the recent "amateur-hour" moments surfing has seen, such as the premature-crowning of Kelly Slater, drug-free surfers may seem a little less dumb? Maybe?

On the other hand, i'm not sure enacting a "parental-control" system of rules will be the best way to go about fostering a positive image. These are grown men and women we're talking about.

Surfing is not a sport where "doping" is really an advantage. Doping refers to steroids, and their obvious advantages for sports like football and baseball. Muscle mass means little in surfing, unless you're in da Wolfpak, so there's no logical reason for anyone to abuse drugs to surf better.

In fact, the only ever case of a surfer on steroids was in 2004 when Brazilian Neco Padaratz was suspended for testing positive to anabolic steroids in France. Back then the ASP had a zero tolerance policy in place for steroids, but athletes were almost never tested. Padaratz claimed the steroids were for a back injury, and he was allowed to return the following year.

Roids aside, the inclusion of performance-reducing drugs such as Alcohol, Marijuana, and Benz-whatever (which is valium, i looked it up on the internet) seems a little silly. They have nothing to do with the sport itself. Besides, they serve beer at the events, and what is this going to mean for the epic champagne popping orgy on the podium?

If anything, the only thing at risk here is losing some great characters on tour. Let's face it, clean-cut-robot-athletes are no fun compared to the wildmen of surfing's colorful past, of which drugs were pretty blatantly involved.

To quote the eloquent words of Bobby Martinez, whose act of parental-rebellion may not be the last we see: "This ain't no fuckin tennis tour!"

Art Therapy for A Child of War on Searching for Serendipity

Guys...if you haven't visited Kami's blog Searching for Serendipity I HIGHLY suggest it. She's hillarious, freaking hillarious, pure awesomeness, and a fabulous mom!

This month she used all of the money from her sponsors to help fund Art Therapy for Children in the Sudan. This really REALLY melts my heart and makes me a believer in humanity again. Especially since...before I became a mom and idealistic-world-saving-orphan-loving ideas still seemed so close at hand and so easy to do...I was all set for doing Drama Therapy and Playback Theater with children in the Sudan...I had all these files saved on my, now dead, laptop of different orphanges and camps that I wanted to visit. I even had ticket prices and what not listed. I never got to tell Zach about this secret endeavor..actually...I never got to tell anyone about it because I got pregnant and now have a chubby cheeked lil dude who is completely worth all the changes my life has taken. BUT I fully support and just love what she has done with this sponsor money.

If you're looking to sponsor a blog- this is the one to sponsor. All of her profits go to helping children. That's one awesome earth mama with a HUGE heart.

What a great way to start my Friday.


Thursday, January 26, 2012

Working out: The Road To Nationals!!!

So, I've decided, I'm going to Nationals. Well, let me specify. I'm going to Qualify for Nationals this year. I don't have the money to go and compete and that's okay with me (not really, but whatever). Looking at the qualification times, I know I can get my ass in gear to swim them.

I NEED this. BAD.

I haven't done the Asylum since Saturday. Bleh, I know. I'm completely unmotivated to do it. I do love Shaun T with a fiery passion but it's just not enough to make me get up and sweat my ass off. It's just not. Especially since Reef is so needy. It seems that we have two very level balanced days and five extremely needy days where I barely get by, by the seat of my pants (mind you these pants are always dirty pajamas).

With that all being said, I'm going to focus on swimming and here's why, yep...I'm going to explain why...

1) I love swimming and it's a huge part of who I am. I don't feel like I'm ME without being on a team and going to workout everyday.

2) There's FREE childcare for Reef while I swim and the girls who work there are freaking AMAZING. I kid you not this super sweet girl held Reef, played with him, and rocked him to sleep! Can she just come live with us already? Too weird to say that? Ugh, OKAY.

3) Racing makes me feel ALIVE.

4) When I turn 25 (because, apparently, you HAVE to be 25 to compete in FINA Masters) I can will qualify for the FINA World Masters Championships and represent the USA on the international spectrum in a crazy awesome country.

This year FINA World Masters Champs are being held here in Riccione, Italy.

So...here I am. Making goals and getting passionate. It's awesome and I love it.
What makes you feel alive? What makes you feel like you?

Monday, January 23, 2012

work work work

Yep, I've been working the past few days.

I know, right?! I do work sometimes.

Go Here
I'm actually the main administrator for Kona Dolphin Swim Club. I've been slacking on the website design lately (apparently I was supposed to make some HUGE changes in September) so the website has been looking pretty rinkydink. So, I put on my big girl pants and transferred everything to the new system our host, Team Unify is using.

It's MUCH easier to use now. At least I hope it is. Many of the parents on the swim club aren't internet savvy so I get A LOT of emails on how to "sign up for a swim meet" "how to log in" etc.

But, to take the team one step further (which, dear god, i've been trying to do for a good nine months now but just haven't had the actual time to) I set up a blog, facebook, and twitter account. I did this without consulting the head coach (who will probably want to kill me soon but thats okay) but it was the owner's decision afterall.

I really think this is the BEST way to get the kids involved and to grab their attention. What do you guys think? I feel so old. I'm still trying to figure twitter out.

I hope you all had a fabulous weekend! Go check out the site (dont expect epicness because its more of a professional practical use for parents and coaches) and let me know what you think. I'm still trying to fix some things. Like...Why the hell wont the slideshow play for anyone who views the site not just those of us who are logged in?!


Friday, January 20, 2012

Happy Aloha Friday: North Shore Surf Short

Free Aloha from Dark Fall Productions on Vimeo.

I thought I'd share a piece of what keeps me going from insane. Reef and I watch this short everyday and love it. This is literally what it's like living in a surf town.
I hope you enjoy this friends


Thursday, January 19, 2012

Hello high neediness + Small insanity update

Ah yes, my son is high needs. I almost forgot. Things have been so good, almost normal. Until yesterday when those crazy baby nightmares came back. I still have NO clue what they really are but its on my "make sure you dont leave the doctors office until you ask her about this" list.

The teething is back FULL FORCE, Reef's going through a growth spurt both physically and mentally, he started eating avocados (i will post those pictures soon, I swear), and I havent slept in two days. Sigh. I know, im whining.

But what about the asylum?! And all your healtht eating?! And swim team?!

If Reef will nap alone I can get at least an asylum workout in. The last few really good days he had I did doubles. Asylum then swim practice. I obviously must have lost my mind those days or became possessed. Either way, I did it.

Now, on days like today. The days where I give 210% of myself to Reef. I eat whatever I can grab with one hand and I snuck in 10 minutes of yoga before more screaming began.

I do feel like im getting fit though (thank god) but its WAY harder with this weird post-baby body I've got goin on.

How is everyone doing with their workout & healthy eating?!


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

WhiteOut: End Junk Food for Babies

WhiteOut: Let every child’s first grain be a whole grain

In getting ready to slowly introduce Reef to solids I found this campaign and thought I would share. I had no clue about how bad white rice cereal is. Oi vei.


Saturday, January 14, 2012

Mini get away

Zach and I are having a mini overnight get away! It was my Christmas gift to him.

Reef is with his grandma and grandpa and Zach and I will be staying...watch out...20 minutes down the road!! I got us a hotel close-by because we really needed time for us but I didn't want to be far in case Reef flipped out.

Soooo that being said. You're probably dying to know our BIG plans...

Laser tag


Walking around Market Street (it's so pretty in the winter)

Some, well you know, US time.

And, what I'm most looking forward to, SLEEP. Pure, beautiful, heavenly sleep! I plan on sleeping 10 hours straight...seriously.

I'm already at the hotel waiting for Zach to get off of work and all I want to do is hole up in the huge bed and sleep but laser tag with Zach does sound fun!

Here's some Reef cuteness my mother in law just sent me (she's so perfect, she updates me every half an hour!).


Insanity the Asylum: Day 2 baby pumpin'

I know. You're thinking 'Joyce its day 3!' Reef had A DAY yesterday. I don't think I let him go once, it was cling cling cliiiiing to mommy day, so working out just didn't happen. Luckily I made the 6am swim practice with my club (Reef actually slept the WHOLE time I was gone!).

Anywhooooo as I was sweating my ass off in the first 19 minutes of the Strength workout of Asylum Reef decided to wake up. Bad decision on his part. I fed him, changed him, and strapped him into the baby bjorn! That's right, I did the Asylum with him strapped to me. I adjusted the moves and it was awesome! Reef was touch and go with being pissed on the last 10 minutes but he, ahem, dug deep and pushed through. Hah. I wish Shaun T could read this and see just how INTO these workouts I get. Sigh, such a fan.

Here are some obnoxious photos of how ridiculous I can be. Don't worry no babies were harmed during this workout!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Insanity The Asylum Day 1: puke & tears


To quote Shaun T, "This shit is bananas!"

Shaun T kicked my abs! It hurts to put my arms above my head and takes all my effort to hold Reef.



If you've done Insanity you really should try the Asylum. Shaun takes it to a whole new level and this time there's no mercy but he's still the same inspiring, hilarious, and down right insaaaane Shaun! I love it. I'm totally obsessed all over again.

Now, my tears were caused from sheer exhaustion and frustration at how fricken out of shape I am. Guys, I'm REALLY out of shape. The puking, well that was from pushing myself to the limit. I used to puke when I was in the height of my swim training from crazy workouts. I know, it's sick but bare with me.

Below are my "before" photos...it's really frightening so if you're eating anything I would wait until your finished to scroll down. I like you too much to have you choke out of horrorrrrr.

My measurements are as follows:
Chest: 35"
Right Arm: 12"
Left Arm: 12.5"
Waist: 37"
Hips: 42.5" (this horrifies me, oh well)
Right Thigh: 25"
Left Thigh: 25"
Weight: 180lbs

These I had to take with my cell. Zach got some with the Canon but I'm doomed without them until I get a new laptop.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Back to my roots.

It's amazing how a package from my mom can completely lift my spirits and get my back to my self. You know, that rad person who's lurking somewhere deep down under all that new mom craziness. Ah, yes, that girl.

I used to be much more proactive about organic products and being an ecominded-earth-lovin-justice-fighting-nothippy-chick. Alas, organic anything is expensive. Which is total crap but I must choose my battles. So I swapped products here and there and when I got pregnant we were broke and I was sick alllll the time. So, I got lazy and let that super rad chick drift away and get lost. Well, my mom helped me find her again.

She sent me a glorious array of all natural body products that literally smell like fresh lilikoi!! They're made locally on The Big Island of Hawai'i and are all natural. She also sent me kukui nut oil candles that smell like lemon grass and passion fruit, incense that doesn't smell disgusting (I'm not a fan of most incense but I LOVE the good stuff), Kona coffee, Pure extra virgin organic coconut oil for Reef's bum, Freedom Dolls from South Africa made by strong women who have AIDS, and a card one of my old clients made me!

So I did what rad Joyce would do. I cranked up some Donavan Frankenreiter, burned some incense, made more coffee, danced around with Reef until we were sweaty, and then took a luxurious shower while reefy sat and played in his toddler tub in the shower with me. I FELT SO MUCH BETTER. It was awesome and Reef was all smiles.

Happy mommy, happy baby. Happy baby, happy mommy.

After losing myself for over a year I'm finally regaining my sanity and sense of self. Anyone else feel like this or have something similar happen in their life? Do you have any epic pick me ups?


Monday, January 9, 2012

Pajama Monday: Parenting a high needs baby vol. 5

Today is Pajama Monday. At least that's what I'm calling it. Reef is extremely needy today. If I'm gone for more than a few minutes while he naps he freaks out. This isn't new. It used to be like this 24/7, this used to be our normal nap routine. Now, it happens about once or twice a week. Huge step for us.

BUT I still have a tinsie bit of an issue adjusting...mostly because I had my entire day planned in my head and it involved healthy meal prep and starting...INSANITY: THE ASYLUM. I mean just look at the box!

So, instead I snuggle with Reef and read lovely blogs and baby sites. I made the mistake of browsing different (unnamed) baby info websites to see what the five month milestones are and to also read up on high needs babies and nightmares, well nightmares in general really. Now...and here comes a rant... I found A LOT of info on "CIO or Crying It Out". I get infuriated over this method. I'm not a believer in it AT ALL. Sorry if you are and I've offended you. I don't even like the whole 'wait one minute then go in and comfort them, if they cry when you walk out then wait two minutes etc'. There is scientific evidence that proves this method causes ANXIETY in babies. This method was developed a long time ago. Back when formula was thought to be better than the boob. We learn and we grow. But, for some reason, we haven't grown out of Cry It Out.

I guess I'm extra sensitive over the issue because there have been SO many people suggesting that to me for Reef. I'm usually never snotty but I tend to retort "there's scientific proof that crying it out is bad for his brain but thanks for the advice". Gah, I know, mean mommy. I've learned not to talk to most people about Reefs needs and our attachment parenting style. It's what works for us and maybe that's what worked for them. Le sigh. If you've gotten this far, I thank you for reading.


Sunday, January 8, 2012

Nightmares on lake drive

How is it possible for such a small sweet little human being to have such horrifying images flying through their brain at night. Reef had another episode of night terrors (or nightmares...im still researching the difference and what exactly this could be) early this evening and its heart wrenching. He screams and cries and it usually takes a good 30 seconds to wake him up..sometimes I run outside into the cool night air to wake him up and get his attention.

After doing some quick research its hard to say what the hell is going on. It's not night terrors because Im able to wake him but it's not nightmares because hes too young to form dreamy images...hmmm okay. Whatever it is, it is terrifying the bageezies out of him and me...seriously. Now, he won't sleep without being cuddled. He bolts awake if there's no skin to skin action going on. This is a BIG step back, I finally got him sleeping in the cosleeper crib two weeks ago. Bummers.

My husband is one of those sleepers who has full on conversations with you and has no clue that he did the next morning (mind you these convos are usually about something so weird and random I just agree with him untill he stops dream talking). I mean one night when I was pregnant he rapped out loud in a made up language while sleeping, woke up the next morning and had no idea what I was talknig about- HILLARIOUS. He sleeps really really hard. I sleep light. I hear EVERYTHING. I always have. I think Reef may be taking after Zach in the sleep department.

Anyone have this going on with their lil babes? If you know anything I would love to hear from you or your mom or whoever.



Saturday, January 7, 2012

I'm not competitive, I just don't like to lose.

It has been FIVE years since I competed in a swim meet. Today I raced my ass off. And, guess what, I didn't come in last... I know right?!

As I like to tell Zach, "im not competitive, I just dont like to lose"... Yeaaaa, I REALLY dont like losing or being bad at something. One of the biggest fights I ever got in with Zach was playing Scrabble online when he was deployed...apparently I got TOO into it. Oh well. I play nice with others but when it comes to swimming... I cant stand to get slow times. Well, I got slow times but not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

I'm really fired up to get fast again. I've really missed swimming and racing. Especially open water races- those are super fun! They race in lakes here...gah....im such a water snob..Hawaii has ruined me. BUT I think I can handle the lake races, as long as I have wetsuit (yay for having a husband who works at a scuba shop that sells those!).

Oh, and if you dont think I'm a nut already...when I race, I cuss out my competition in my head...yep. It's what works for me. Then when we get out I always talk to those sweet girls I just raced and we laugh etc. I think I better stop this post as im sounding crazier by the second.

Reef did great in the bleachers with my mother-in-law. I didnt think to bring bottles so it was a lot of nurse-race-cool down-race-nurse-pour gatorade down my throat- race-nurse-race-race-cool down-go home.

I hope you had an epic Saturday. Does anyone else have crazy weird competitive tactics? Please, tell me you do so I dont feel so insane :)


Thursday, January 5, 2012

Hello ol' friend!!!!

I'm soooo stoked. Zach's friend, and Iraq Battle Buddy, Chris is visiting us or a few days. I really enjoy hanging out with old friends. Chris and his wife Emily (who couldn't come with him, lame) were staying with us when I found out I was preggo! These two really mean a lot to us.

The day Zach deployed Chris walked me back to my car while I cried like a crazy person and he promised me he would take care of Zach. I. Will. Never. Forget. That. Emily and I became a support for each other even though we lived super far away. She was the only military spouse friend I had and, at the time, the only one who fully understood just how difficult this whole deployment thing was. So, needless to say I loooove seeing them when we get the chance!

I think I overwhelmed Zach and Chris with my excitement but...I mean...I have no friends here (well, we have friends but...you know they're really more Zach's friends and are babyless... I dont know how to say this and not sound bitchy...they're amazing and fun but im not quite in tne total comfort zone with them yet) and if it wasn't for face time and Skype I would rarely talk to my friends and family. Soooo it's been really fun spending time with a friend who "gets it"..like...I have two sinks full of dishes, my floors are dirty, I'm up to my eyeballs in laundry, and was wearing sweat pants and a gross t-shirt that reef puked on when he got here...but he could care less and honestly so could I, there's no pretense or impressing needed here and I love that about good ol friends!

Here's to good times with good friends!

What else do two geeky battle buddies do when they re-unite?! Build computers and play Star Wars The Old Republic of course!!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Puppy lovin

We have the greatest-notthesmartest-extrahyper-escapeartistextrordinnaire of a boxer named Diesel. He was my battle buddy and my first child. Yes, I was once one of those dog loving people. I made all of Diesel's food from scratch, he had epic toys, I took him to the dog beach three times a week, and he cuddled with me on our bed when Zach wasn't home....yea....about that...sorry Zach.

Then I got pregnant and he become attached to me. If I was puking at 3am, I puked all nine months by the way, Diesel would come in and sit so I could lean on him and he would lick my arm in a I'm so sorry this is happening and because I love you I won't be gross and lick the puke that is obviously in your hair kind of way.

Since Reef was born he's been desperate for that extra attention he used to get. Well, today I indulged him. It was so warm and cozy in our room and on our bed I just couldn't make him get down. Plus, he was being very careful with Reef.


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Five months..no way?!

I honestly can't believe Reef is five months old...
The last few days he has been really figuring things out and has become SO interested in everything. Ah it's so fun!Does anyone have any suggestions for development games?

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Getting Insane with Shaun T

It's no secret I'm obsessed with Insanity by Shaun T. I love it. A lot. The first time I did Insanity I lost 50lbs in only 4 months. So awesome. I should probably add in the fact that I was a healthy eating vegan, working four jobs, and Zach was in Iraq so I was stressin off some weight as well. This was me after college and before Shaun T: I weighed 182lbs. Blah.

This was after four months of Shaun T's Insanity: I weighed 132lbs
I've always struggled with weight and body image. I was a competitive swimmer growing up and by the time I was fourteen I was a lean mean swimming machine BUT I thought I was fat...I disgust myself now, I can't believe I thought that. I always had super skinny gorgeous to die for friends so, throughout high school I still felt fat but was no where near it.

I became a vegan at age 15 and lost A LOT of weight. People started getting all on my case about being anorexic or some crazy shit. Nope. Just swam 4 hours a day and didn't eat crap. That'll shed the pounds.

Then, I went to college and didn't have the means to be a healthy vegan. So, I ate vegan crap and lots of Pasta. I came home from college much larger than when I left but it never really got me down. As you can see from the photos I still got my brown on in a bikini often (sorry you had to see that).

Then, I met Zach. He loved me when I was fat. Yay. But, I wanted to be healthy and fit again. He was working out all the time in Iraq so I decided to work out at home. I bought Insanity and melted that fat away. Not to say it was easy because it hurt to get in and out of my car that first week.

Then, we got engaged and I was SUPER motivated to lose weight.

Then, I got pregnant. Stopped being a vegan and ate what I craved. I did what I felt was best for the little guy growing inside of me but I forgot how fattening cheese is and bacon.

So. Here I am. 180 pounds again.

I'm excited to announce that I have ordered Shaun T's The Asylum, for those crazy kids who finished Insanity and loved it Shaun brings it even harder in these DVDs. It should be here Friday and I CANT WAIT. I seriously get really into it and talk/swear at my tv. It's awesome.

I've also started swimming at 5am with a Masters Club (aka people who want to get a good workout in and compete but are over 18).

I'm also eating healthy and clean. No more processed foods and crap. No sugar. No dairy. No fat. I wanted to go back to veganism but am waiting to be done breast feeding Reefy.

Any new life changing workouts or diets youre doing? I would love to know about it. Lets support each other!



What, too much?

Remember that lil post I did on, ahem, balls and how my hand towels keep getting used on the males in this house unmentionables? Wellllll....I thought it was hillarious....so did my husband and his brother..and my mother in law... And I'm not funny often so when I am I get really excited....too excited..and then I become THAT girl.Apparently my father-in-law did not find it funny(although I like to think he did and that he's just not admitting it).  You see, it's usually just my father-in-law and I home for a few hours in the evening because everyone else works late and it's been fabulous because...wait for it...we're finally friends and even make fun of eachother(that means we're friends right?). Well he came home and I couldn't wait. I had to show him those signs. I started talking super fast, damn that coffee, and as soon as he looked at it he turned red and said "ummm too much information, i need to walk outside" at first I thought he was kidding...then I realized I had done it again. Too much. Ugh, when will I learn? Probably never. I think I somehow embarrassed him. Hmmm.Oh well.So, now I know. When it comes to my father-in-law Butt Humor is fine but go beyond that and you get the awkward eye.Please, someone tell me I'm not the only one who does stuff like this.XoJ<br />
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Ps on an awesomer note, Reef found his toes. Yes, this now gives me five semi-calm minutes a day