My Mama never told me THAT & 33 Weeks 3 Days

Things my mother, my grandmother, & my best friend never told me about pregnancy:

~ Even though you have endometriosis and are on high dosages of birth control, you can still get pregnant- "hello, my husband, future son, and myself are the .00008% they tell you about in pamphlets at the OBGYN"

~ It gets to a certain point when, yes, you will pee yourself when you laugh, cough, sneeze, talk, move the wrong way...

~ You can be sick for longer than the first trimester. My grandmother had 5 children and was sick all 9 months...she didn't let me in on this fact until I was 6 months preggo and still puking.

~ Your immune system is lower than usual.- I figured this out in the first few months and have spent the rest of my pregnancy taking vitamin c and watching out for sick swimmers on the club I coach...now everyone knows, if you have a cold STAY AWAY FROM COACH JOYCE. (unfortunately sick soldiers go to my husband the medic and now I have something fierce)

~ The Army is amazing when it comes to a Preggo wife- I ended up in the ER due to dehydration from severe morning sickness a few months ago and my husband was gone on training. They had him back on our island and in our house in less than 24 hours.

~ Heartburn is like fire burning in your throat- ALWAYS keep tums next to your bed and in your purse.

~ Not all doctors are nice about weight gain.

~ Braxton Hicks contractions are not always how they say they are in the books. They can be extremely painful throughout your abdomen and back and last for 24 hours plus. AKA you feel like you want to die from FAKE contractions (how uncool).

~ Your boobs will get out of control huge and have a mind of their own.

~ Your skin can get unbelievably sensitive to, well, everything- even the sun. I get sunburned 20x faster since I became pregnant.

~ It's an amazing moment when you realize your lil one is reacting to your voice and your husbands when still in the womb.

33 weeks 3 days and counting

"The Hoochie Factor" (warning: not for lil eyes)

So...I have a problem and I call it "The Hoochie Factor"... a hoochie, in my mind, is basically the equivalent of a hot trashy girl...Now, that being said, every girl that I don't know turns into a hoochie in my mind...seriously...As a joke I started telling my husband "Just say no to hoochies" before he leaves for work but part of me is crazy and really hopes he stays away from girls. THIS NEVER HAPPENED UNTIL I WAS PREGNANT. I've had a lot of errr...not so classy friends and all, but this is a new level of completely-insane-out-of-whack-mental instability...below I have used photos to illustrate just how INSANE I am.

Zach is now Dive Master Candidate so he dives all day on the weekends assisting with classes and what not. Last weekend he was in charge of keeping watch over a group of harmless, super nice moms...

probably what one of the moms looked like                                      what she obviously looked like in my crazy brain

Sitting on the beach is my happy place, especially when Zach dives and I have the energy to go with him and just relax. BUT

This is what the nice girls on the beach look like                                                                 this is how I see them

Zach works with female army medics and nurses- they're all really nice and not at all a "hoochie", unless your me and pregnant..then...

This would be a sweet army medic hard at work with children         THIS is what she clearly looks like in my head

Lastly I walked by some ladies just hangin out at coffee shop...

They were hanging out bothering no one...but as soon as one looked at Zach THIS is what my mind turned them into

YES. I'M CRAZY. I KNOW.
Anyone else have anything ridiculous like this happen while they were preggo?

My house is exploding

Yes, exploding...with baby-everything. It's also exploding with laundry, dirty dishes, scuba gear, and everything the army has every issued to my husband (and by god people, that is A LOT of stuff).

I literally spent all of Father's Day cleaning and making dinner for my husband aka soon to be daddy-awesome. He spent the day assisting a PADI Open Water Dive Class as he is now, officially, "Dive Master Candidate" with Aloha Scuba Divers here on Oahu. It's basically an epic internship coupled with book work and water work. At the end he will be able to teach PADI Open Water Diver Refresher Courses and take people who aren't certified out on Discovery Scuba Dives- pretty freaking awesome. I'm pretty sure I'm going to go into labor while he's on a night dive or something....okay, maybe not but it is one of my legitimate fears right now.

The boys have been working hard putting together the stroller and a caddy carrier thing...I went OCD and forced them to do it all in one sitting and STILL am yet to organize and put things in their proper place. I'm having a hard time because much of it my dogs will enjoy eating, so I have to wait until we can send them to Texas (we will later reunite with them there at my in-laws in January)- I feel super guilty about sending them but know it is for the best, at least for right now.

Team Work

how does this open?

wheels

So cute! I'm super excited!

woohooo

ummm yea...this may be why I don't get anything done >.<

Exploding

STUFF EVERYWHERE

Reefs closet..stuffed

Daddy in training

Why hellooooooo!

Things have finally come to a tinsy bit of a calm. We're back from  Kona and Zach's parents just left to go back to Texas. The last week has been too much fun...seriously. I'm going to post more pictures from Kona as soon as I get some of that stuff called Sleep tonight.

In the meantime...Zach and Taya are finally used to each other which means Taya is completely obsessed with Uncle Zach....given the choice it was him over me all trip long :) It didn't bother me too much since they had so much fun...She seriously asked Uncle Zach to show her a shark...no better person to ask really- too cute. He didn't get her a shark but he found her a honu (green sea turtle), an a'ama crab, an eel, and a whole lotta fish at a friend's aquarium store.

I've known Zach is going to be an awesome dad but it was just freaking rad seeing him take care of Taya and just totally go into her crazy little 4 year old world with her...I loved every second of it.

1: taya refusing to let go of uncle's leg 2: going to look for sharks on the sea wall on alii drive 3&4: finding a honu & a'ama crap 5&6: cruising alii drive 7-8-9: Nap time. They watched planet earth's jungle and made bird noises for oh, about a half an hour until they both PASSED out :)

Holy Chaos Batman!!

Holy moly. So much, no, too much going on it seems like. First off, I'm quite narcoleptic these days falling asleep in chairs, in the car, in the shower...pretty much anywhere when that overwhelming exhaustion rains down on me.

Things have been a bit nuts lately and I've felt way too adult like (yuck) taking care of not only our family but our friend, and all of his finances etc, as well while he's in the hospital (poor guy, its been a few months but he's on the path to recovery!).

My mom's surgery went well and she's getting her stitches out, woohoo.

The assistant head coach of the team I coach for fell out of a tree and broke his leg in four places so I've been pulling super coaching duties these last few weeks and by god it's like the whole team decided to come back since school is over so I've got A LOT of swimmers everyday...somehow Reef stops kicking and just lets me coach for 5 hours which is nice.

My in-laws will be here in 4 days and then its off to Kona for a small family vaca meeting up with my mom & dad. The vaca includes diving, snorkeling, vow renewals for the mama & pops, baby shower, and plain ol Kona town goodness- not too mention my best friend and her daughter!!!! I'm so damn excited I can't wait!

In other news: Zach totally bought me an adult size inflatable pool!!!!! The thing holds 1,000 Gallons (sorry mama earth) of water and is utterly perfect. I came home after a long day of coaching last night to a pool on our lanai!! It was super cold but my preggo butt jumped right in and stayed in for a good hour! Floating is seriously the greatest gift to me right now. My husband is a smart man, as long as I have water to float in I am a happy camper ( I will upload pics once the sun comes out, its yucky right now).

Two more reasons why going home to Kona ROCKS:

I get to hang out with "The Rascal" and lie in bed with my battle buddy Zontar (she was with me through deployment).