A friend gave me her copy of The Fussy Baby Book by Dr. Sears (how i love him & his wife). She never realy used it since she had such angelic easy lil babes. I finally cracked it open this morning and OMG YOU GUYS THAT RIGHT THERE IS MY SON!
I have been completely befuddled, exhausted, and frustrated. I had to stop reading baby development books, I had to stop all of my emails that send baby updates, and I had to stop listening to well, everyone. Even my dearest friends who are great parents had no idea what to say to me. You see...this crazy baby I have hated being swaddled, he rarely napped as a newborn, he hates anything restrictive (including clothes), has been hyper alert since birth, hates to be set down, refuses to play with anything that isn't myself or my husband, wants what he needs RIGHT when he needs it, hates sleeping in his crib, and has wanted to stand since he was four weeks old more than anything else in the world.
Now, after all the reading and talking to doctors and friends and nurses and parents and grandparents- THIS. IS. NOT. NORMAL. Oh, awesome...just what every new young mommy wants to hear. Whatever. I went with it. I did what I thought Reef needed and of course thought I was doing everything wrong. When he was three months old I finally told Zach, "I can't do it, I need sleep. I'm putting him in the bed with us" and, oh holy shit, if that didn't get me a whole slew of advice I didn't ask for. People are really good at, accidentally, making you feel like a terrible parent but hey...when your baby won't sleep for longer than an hour at a time and you're THAT tired, you'll do anything..right?!
Well, Dr. Sears and his lovely wife had a High-Need daughter and wrote a book about their journey with her and other high-need babies they've worked with and well, it's my new Bible (sorry God). After reading the first two chapters I had a whole new confidence and outlook on life. Guess what, I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING WRONG (i know right?!). I was actually...wait for it...doing it RIGHT..I should say WE since my husband is right there with me every tired step of the way.
It's called Attachment-Parenting. See, Reef NEEDS to be held, he NEEDS to be cuddled at night, he NEEDS the constant physical interaction...NEEDS NEEDS NEEDS...Now, I had way too many people tell me "youre spoiling him" or "he really shouldnt be sleeping with you, you could smother him you know" and (my favorite) "have you tried patting him and shushing him when he wakes in the middle of the night, it puts my daughter right back to sleep"...I feel so at ease now, so relieved. I hadn't met anyone else with a baby like Reef and was starting to worry that there was something seriously wrong.
Does anyone else have a High-Need Baby/Toddler/Child/Teen? If you do or have experienced one I would absolutely love to hear your wisdom.
XO
J
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| Dear Jonny Jump Up thank you for entertaing Reef for 5 minutes at a time so I can sip my coffee and not pour it down my throat. |
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